RL3: Meditator Eileen Barker – Why Forgiveness?


Our guest for this episode is Eileen Barker, a forgiveness teacher, forgiveness coach, and a leader in the movement to integrate emotional healing and forgiveness in conflict resolution. She has led numerous trainings on forgiveness, provided forgiveness coaching for both individuals and organizations, and is the author of the Forgiveness Workbook and Forgiveness Meditation CD.

Eileen has taught at the University of California Berkeley School of Law, University of California Hastings College of Law, John F. Kennedy University Graduate School of Professional Psychology, Sonoma (CA) State University, and Creighton University, Werner Institute. She graduated Magna Cum Laude from Georgetown University Law Center and also holds an honors degree in psychology from Indiana University.

Links Mentioned in the Show

Timeline of the Show’s Topics 😉

  • 02:03 : Eileen’s background from being a mediator up to the work she does in the field of forgiveness including the retreats and activities she organizes throughout the year,
  • 02:52 : What a neutral mediator is and how she transitioned from commercial litigation to exploring a better livelihood for herself after being disillusioned with the system,
  • 04:57 : Her observations over the years of how people behaved after a mediation which sparked her interest and quest in exploring forgiveness to help people get closure, acceptance and peace,
  • 06:48 : The types of cases she had mediated and her thoughts about lawyers lacking training in handling conflict, the essentials about emotional intelligence, and communication and listening,
  • 13:01 : Sharing some of the tough cases she had handled before to stress the importance of how lawyers can lead their clients towards healing and being at peace with themselves,
  • 16:46 : About an article she wrote in Pepperdine highlighting the importance of forgiveness through citing of examples from commercial cases,
  • 17:53 : Defining forgiveness the correct way and it’s distinction from condoning and reconciling,
  • 20:09 : The negative physical and emotional impacts of carrying emotional baggage such as anger for both lawyers and clients,
  • 24:42 : How she facilitates forgiveness through the 4 levels of conflicts, 4 levels of forgiveness, and 4 levels of healing — all processes and steps includes the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical levels,
  • 35:05 : Overviews of the types and examples of conflicts which she has handled, the distinction of bilateral and unilateral forgiveness,
  • 38:37 : Eileen shares a beautiful story about a case where forgiveness has shaped the resolution of an employment termination dispute and why lawyers should remember their ethical obligation and consider the value of intangible aspects when handling cases,
  • 49:41 : Why forgiveness should also happen between strangers and how we can hone our competency on forgiveness more, and
  • 54:04 : What a resilient lawyer means to Eileen.